How to Survive a Robot Uprising

A Funky Book Review by Erin Heston

There are so many unknowns in the world. Do aliens exist? How about ghosts or Sasquatch? What would Earth be like if there was slightly less gravitational force? What makes cats purr? (as far as I know, this still can’t be explained). I always imagined the universe as a never ending space of dark nothingness. But where does that nothingness end? And what comes after nothing?

Phew! These are the kind of brain wrinkling questions best left up to scientists who make a living deciphering the mysteries of the universe. As for the rest of us, we’re just trying to survive our own day-to-day challenges. But what if the world as we know it changed in an instant? Are you prepared for the social, economic, political and physical changes that would occur?

North Korea is a constant threat, recently conducting nuclear tests that defied U.N. Security Council sanctions. The conflict in Iraq is painfully ongoing, with car bombs a seemingly daily occurrence. Natural disasters are another threat, and California is due for a devastating earthquake any day now.

Merriam-Webster defines an uprising as “an usually localized act of popular violence in defiance usually of an established government.” If any of these threats happened on a large enough scale to trigger an uprising, everyone’s lives would undoubtedly change in unknown ways. A current example of an uprising is the aftermath of the recent elections in Iran. The election results are in but unclear, and Iranians are violently reacting in protest against the current government. It’s impossible to anticipate the repercussions of an event such as this, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prepare for the worst. So what should you do? According to Dr. Daniel H. Wilson, author of How to Survive a Robot Uprising and graduate of the Robotics Institute of Carnegie Mellon University, an uprising of robots is not only very possible, but imminent.

Dr. Wilson states that movies, books, etc. depicting robots as a regular part of our everyday lives is a foreshadowing of the future (think The Jetsons). He warns that “…someday mankind must face and destroy the growing robot menace” and provides detailed instructions of how to spot a rebel or hostile robot and, most importantly, how to fight back. One of the defense mechanisms Dr. Wilson suggests is to pose as a humanoid robot:

- Pretend to be damaged
- Change your heat signature (which involves stuffing aluminum foil in your pants)
- Make robot noises like “beep” or “boop”
- Move like a robot (he suggests the pop-and-lock dance style)
- If confronted, keep moving and don’t look back

While the concept of a robot uprising may seem a bit far-fetched, Dr. Wilson is very serious about this possibility; perhaps he knows something we don’t! One thing he is right about is an uprising of some form could happen if current world threats aren’t brought under control.

So maybe we should pay closer attention to Dr. Wilson’s instructions. Posing as a humanoid robot is akin to the military tactic of reconnaissance. He also describes hand-to-hand fighting techniques that include finding a weapon, keeping your distance, and getting away–all very applicable to real-world combat. While raw fighting might not be your defense of choice should an uprising occur, it might be a good idea to formulate some kind of plan. You never know what could happen; it’s such an unknown.

Resources:
Council on Foreign Relations http://www.cfr.org/
How to Survive a Robot Uprising http://www.robotuprising.com/